Fading In The Background

"No man may become great without feeling himself humble and insignificant when compared to the world about him and the stars above him and the harmony with which Nature does her work." - Dr.Sidney N. Bremer

 Life begins at forty. That's what's being said about people reaching the fourth decade of their lives. I don't know about men, but for women like me, and single to boot, it's a difficult stage to adapt to. For one thing, you are forced to fade in the background. People no longer sees you as trendy and significant. People, especially the younger generation, no longer sees you as someone that matters. You are no longer in the list of people to invite to, to hub nub to, to be seen with, to hang on to words and expressions you can repeat and share and referred to. A has been...

It's sad, but it's a fact of life. You woke up one day and you realize you are no longer the mainstream. You realized you're just like the "new wave" songs back in the 80's and the 90's. You had your moments, you had your 'fifteen minutes' of glorious fame, but it's all in the past. You wake up one day to turn on the 'radio' and the 'songs' you hear are quite a different tune. You wanted to say, hey, I can sing  that, too. But they would just look at you with eyes that says, no, your time is past. You can sing from time to time, but this is a whole different setting with new artists.

And so, I am forced to fade in the background. I wanted to wallow in dismay and defeat. But when I looked in the mirror, the person looking at me says "no, you don't". I see a face fading but still radiating with even more wisdom and understanding. A brave person that time has tested to stand proud of what she is. Then, as if by magic, the path spread wide and clear in front of me. I know where I am going. I know what I am doing. I know what beautiful and amazing chapters and stories I still need to write. The story of my life at forty and beyond. Who cares if i'm fading in the background? I know my worth. I know what I survived. I know what I want and I am excited to face it all - alone. For now. Can you say the same?