Friday, July 11, 2014

To Be Young And Brave


"No matter who you are, or where you are maybe, you can do something to change the world for the better." - Dr. Edward L. Kramer

Siblings born unplanned are the most to suffer survival crisis. I don't have the numbers to prove it, but I'd seen some and I've met some. In fact, one of them is my youngest brother. He came in this world when life was at the most difficult in our family. The only support comes from the meager income of my father as a driver. I was ten years old, I believe, when my mother went into labor. The room we lived in at that time was awful. It was one of those small tenement houses near the smelly Pandacan swamp. Those were horrible two years of my life when we were forced to live there due to unforeseen circumstances. I remember dreading going home from school because it was hot and humid and odorous. My siblings were pitiful because we didn't have a television back then, and they didn't have the passion for reading books as I do. They would peep in the neighbor's windows, and then I would hear it being slammed in their faces. Such was the case that I found more solace in my studies. I would be lost in my books, and my dreams, and not a day I wouldn't wish of getting older at last. 

One day, I had to go to Fabella Hospital alone because my father was working, and my mother needs someone in the hospital. I remember the boy crying. I know I was not happy because even at a young age, I know deep within me we were not privileged and life is hard. The doctors and the nurses kept praising me, saying what a brave and silent girl I was. I never spoke much those days unless asked a direct question. I had nothing to say to the world. But I know my soul says my mother is even braver, bringing a fifth child in this world.

Back then, I would say my brother was born thin and small and with a big head. Only later I would know the word "meningitis". He survived, but he grew up to be a sickly person, both in body and in behavior.He grew up resentful of life in general. We grew up, too, but our station in life did not improve. We moved since then from that horrible place, but still poor to my dismay. My brother never experienced the good life I had before he was born. For some reason, since the year he was born, we had seven years plus seven years plus seven years bad luck, if you can believe that. 

He never liked school and studying is a hateful word. He stayed in the province to continue his schooling, nonetheless, and I went to work places as far as overseas. He finished high school after eight years of labor. Some even said the teachers let him graduate just to get rid of him. You may wonder why I am telling this. Well, I was and still close to him. Maybe because I was the eldest and he was the youngest. The times I went home to our town, we used to talk about our dreams, how we're going to have a big house, a tricycle or a jeep for him, and a business for me. Some of those remain to be dreams.

He has a wife and a child now. A boy so like him. Still poor but of better circumstances. I miss them and sometimes I regret not giving more, spending more quality time with him. But maybe we did something right along the way because he stayed sane and made something of his life now. It is still a struggle for him not getting a good paying job because of lack of a better education, but I salute him for being brave enough to love and to take responsibility for other people. Some born under the same state are not so lucky.

I believe I will schedule a leave soon to see my nephew with him. He's getting bigger and he barely knew me, and time flies. Tempus fugit....







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