of finding joy in ordinary things. Life does not force us to be the best. It only asks that we try. As this old Italian saying goes: Vive bene, spesso l'emore, di risata de molto. Live well. Love much. Laugh often."
The year is almost over. I am happy because I didn't just survive, but I am living the way I would like it to be. It isn't always fun and smooth sailing. In fact, there are many aspects and phases in my day to day life that I fell short of my own preset goals and expectations. But the best thing about all these is that I had the sanity and the inner peace that I never had before.
It had taken a lot of self-meditation and the necessity to stay calm most of the time, so that I won't be stressed and depressed so much, which in turn would cause my fibromyalgia to recur. Indeed, I am at peace with myself. That inner thought that says; "Relax, be at peace with everything and everyone around you." I learned to envelop myself with an invisible shroud to protect me from pain, disappointments, anger, guilt, jealousy and loneliness. Some may say this is an illusion, but I say this is taking charge. There are no Knight-in-Shining-Armor princes es to save us from harm both physically and emotionally.
Acceptance. This is another emotion that I learned to live with. There are no greater pain in this life than longing for people and things that can never be. I can truly say I love my life now. I do cry in pain sometimes. Pain for many things, but it's no longer the kind of pain tinged with guilt and anger. Life gives and takes away things and people. I didn't end up like what I had envisioned when I was little, but I am luckier than most with a stable job and a comfortable life others can only dream of. And I may not have a lot of time to spend with my family, but I try to reach out in different ways.
Enjoying life. I learned to appreciate the simple things in life. I do not let my being alone prevent me from doing what I want. I watch any movie I want alone, and I enjoy it. I go to the park and just sit there taking in the view and the busy people around me. I laugh for children's antics, remembering my childhood and my siblings, yet coming to terms with my life now. Being single is not a tragedy as others may say. It is a choice.
Prayer. No greater fool is he who does not remember God. The One true God who made all things possible. I know my journey is rough, but never will I go astray again with Him to guide me. Thank you God. Thank you Jesus. Please do not forget me.
Love,
Therry
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