I Am In Pain.

I just finished my PT session today. I did not realize how severe it has become (my hip instability) until I can no longer breathe properly, and my headache and body ache won't go away even after taking medications. I guess this is another illness I have to endure for the rest of my life. I am sorry I have to write depressing things right now. But this is my journal and it helps me a lot  when I write down what I feel. My depression  recurred a week ago. I go to work but I am not the usual me. I just did what I need to do, but that's it.        

At home, I didn't wanna socialize with my housemates. In fact, I locked  my door and never opened my windows. I just stayed in my bed. I am so grateful that this past Sunday morning I woke up feeling a bit better and upbeat. There's nothing like a good rest and therapy to make a day.

The pain is still there. I didn't know that the therapy eased anything yet. But hopefully with the succeeding sessions, it will be better. I thought I had enough time to rest. But as it is, time flies. Soon, I will be back to work. I don't want to be demotivated or anything. Although sometimes things just get so boring and frustrating. Proper #mindset please. Be happy. Be content, but never cease to follow your dream.  (Later on, I was diagnosed of Fibromyalgia - Pain caused by severe depression).

   When can I feel this "smile" again?

A dream is a path to the future, 
 a quiet belief in the heart, 
A small secret wish nurtured deep in the spirit
 where all great accomplishments start. 
A dream is an endless horizon that only the dreamer can see. 
A dream is a challenge to all that you are, 
 a promise of all you can be! - Amanda Bradley

What I Want This New Year!

     2013 has come and gone, and still, it feels like nothing happened. Every year, people make a list of what they wanted to achieve or change for the better. I, too, usually make a mental list on what I want to do for the whole year. But this year, it's totally different for me. I have learned to live each day without a list to live by. I am not sure if this will work, but let's see what happens. All I know is that: "When you want something with great force, the whole universe will conspire for you to make your wish!" -Day of Tikkun  #beyondthehorizon